I call this the “LIF Model” and it’s one of the most powerful models for dealing with problematic people, and in fact, all the problems life throws at us.

It really is, as simple, as I have made it out.

LIF Model Summary (under 1 minute read)

When something bad, annoying, problematic or whatever you want to call it happens to you, instead of getting angry and annoyed, just laugh and laugh as loud and as long as you possibly can.

Think of some high powered game master or twisted gods above, playing with you and you are just part of a little game to relieve their current boredom.

So now we’ve gone from a state of “almost” anger (as before we chose to get angry, we realised we had better laugh first!) to laugher, and doesn’t it feel good!

Next, once you’ve had a good old laugh and the serotonin/dopamine kicks in, its time to ignore, which means thinking of something else. As if you try to focus on ignoring this, you will simply keep reminding yourself, of this…

A great word I use to keep myself aligned, is I quickly just say “FUTURE”, then my mind realigns to thoughts of amazing things in the future. I used to use the word “STOP”, though this worked, there are negative connotations with the word stop. Though I felt better afterwards as stopped my mind from wandering down negativity lane, I still had a bitter taste in my mind!

As if by magic, the powers of ignore then bring rise to forget, and all anger and the corresponding cortisol, nevermind the degenerative effects on our health are all gone, for good.

Background to The LIF Model – For those want to know more (2 mins read)

This model came about from having to move back home in order for my mother to be realised from a nursing home due to her dementia, the social workers wouldn’t allow her home as they didn’t feel my dad could cope with her alone.

I knew it would be very tough as my dad is one of the most awkward and spiteful men walking this planet.

So, before I had even moved in, I knew my tactic had to be to avoid/remove, using the RIO Model of Remove, Improve and Optimise.

The best and simplest way, was to alter my waking and sleep pattern. For year I have gotten up at 6am so have always been an early riser however now I was taking things to the next level.

What about waking up at 5am or even 0430, I thought? This now gives me over 4 hours of free time in the house without him up every single morning. Perfect!

The plus side of this, is that if I am getting up super early, then I also need to go to bed super early, massively limiting the time spent in his company in the evening.

Next, I knew meditation was going to play a huge part in my strategy of not experiencing health destroying stress levels from him and the precursor to that, huge fights.

I’d already been mediating for a year, before embarking on what could and turned out to be, the most stressful time of my life. So, from here came an absolute must to meditate daily and every day.

This was amazing, mediation really transformed my life, and will explain the huge changes, in another separate article purely focused on this. However, the necessity that I had to meditate, ended up creating a new amazing habit, where I now meditate every day, well 13 days out of 14! Whereas before it was more like 3 or 4 times a week!

For the beady eyed, you will notice that though it’s almost every day, it’s not every day and I noticed the days I didn’t meditate, dad and I would have minor to mid-level arguments. Though this only further pushed my desire to meditate more, I was also aware, very occasionally, life just gets in the way…

Well, lockdown drinking, more to the point, if you must know!

Some days if I had gotten up late around 8ish, I didn’t feel like meditating or had to get on with work as lost 3 hours of the day and was on catch up.

So, I needed something more, think of it like a backup weapon, so I’ve ran out of bullets and out comes the knife!

This was how the LIF Model was born, I wanted a quick and easy fix, to protect me from days where I hadn’t meditated.

I wrote about laughing when misfortunate things happen to you, in my longevity book, STOP!! Killing Yourself…The Beginners Guide to Living Longer. Though I was applying this method, it needed more…

Why? As I wouldn’t let the thoughts of what a tw@t, he continuously was towards me go!

I later found out he doesn’t actually like me, as I couldn’t understand why, when all I wanted, was to be nice to him, as I loved him. Yet he wanted to be nasty, so I decided to ask him, and though a complete and utter shock to her those words from your dad, it had been pretty obvious for at least 20 years!

Time to up the game, I needed to add another dimension to this model, to make it bullet proof. This is where the “ignore” and “forget” come in.

Forget is a by product of ignore, that I explained earlier in the article, where by ignoring something, you soon forget about it. Ignore comes about by form of replacement, like all good new habits.

So, if you don’t replace what’s on your mind with something else, to take its place i.e. distract your mind from it, then you wont be able to forget that issue, as it will keep niggling away at your mind.

Most of human’s best tactics and skills, have been developed in times of hardship and this LIF Model is no different.

As all things in life, it takes practice to become a new habit. So, don’t worry if you keep forgetting it to begin with. The very fact that you have “remembered” that you have forgotten to do it, is amazing in itself. This then puts you on the right path, to a less stressful and therefore longer life, removed of a chronic illness for the last decade of your life…

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